Almost
by matemarti
Summary: Bella feels like a monster, Edward knows to be a monster. Will they find love and peace with themselves?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! I wrote it when I was racked by the temperature. **

**However I hope you'll like it! If you don't, please forgive me, it was fever's fault! :p**

**This is basically the same plot of "Monster", that I wrote some days ago, but I wasn't satisfied of the history, so I changed something. **

Thank God, summer holidays were over.

I knew that no one agreed with me, but for me they were a nightmare. So that morning I was happy to come back to school. That was my last year, then I'd leave Forks and all its inhabitants, and above all I'd leave the sick air of my house.

This sickness was not my parent's fault, it was mine. My brother Emmett had never had a problem with them, they never quarrelled, unlike me. Thus, the real problem was me. My parents have never gainsaid my theory.

I had thought to go away so many times, but I've always renounced because of Emmett, I couldn't withstand to stay away from him. He had always made me calm down with his jokes. His bright smile never left his face. He was better than me, far better, I was aware of it and I wasn't envious, because I cared of him so much. But now that he had gone away to work as professional football player, I was alone. I had passed an entire summer completely alone.

My bad temper didn't help the relationship with René and Charlie. Every time I expressed my opinion, different from theirs, even with my better aims, they always read it as a direct attack to them. So every dialogue with them ended with a quarrel. Emmett was no more there to distract me.

So, I arrived at the conclusion that it was better for us all that I stayed quiet.

I began to stay quiet even with my friends. I knew that I was a monster and I didn't want my friends to realize it.

Neither my best friend Alice could convince me of the contrary, even though she always repeated to me that I was making it bigger than it really was. She didn't understand completely my pain.

I reached the school on foot, it wasn't far from my house. At the entrance I saw Alice running toward me, hand in hand with his blond boyfriend Jasper. They have been together since we were ten.

"Hi Bella!" she greeted me.

"Hi!" I replied enthusiastically.

Jasper smiled at me "Please don't tell me you are so happy to be back to school…"

I shook my head "No, not happy. Agog is more appropriate" I said with a smile. Alice rolled her eyes.

"See you at lunch Bella" told me Jasper as we entered the building. Alice kissed my cheek and went with him to their class.

My first lesson was Math and I couldn't ask for something better. Yes I knew I was strange, but Math was a language that everyone could speak and understand, misunderstandings were not contemplated. No misunderstandings, no discussions, no faults, paradise for me.

As I entered the classroom I met Jessica and Lauren, they smiled at me, a false and sour smile. That expression on their face was still source of suffering for me. In fact until three years ago we used to be friends, we always hang out together and knew everything about each of us. Our friendship finished as Mike Newton asked me to date. I obviously declined, because I knew that Jessica liked him so much and also because I couldn't stand him.

I told everything to them, even that I had declined, but Jessica and Lauren read it as disrespect towards Jessica's feelings. Since that day they have stopped to speak with me. I haven't understood yet what I did to offend them, but this was my point of view of the story. They probably had good reasons to act like that.

I sighed afraid. I was a monster I knew it.

I sat on the first free place I found, completely absorbed within my thoughts.

"Hi" I heard someone trying to greet me.

I raised my face from the desk and turned my face towards the guy who spoke to me.

He was sitting next to me, and looked at me with a shining smile on his face. I've never seen him. Certainly he was new here, Forks High was so small that I knew all its students.

I admired his face like a stupid, I think my mouth was forming a perfect O. I couldn't say a word for some seconds, his beauty was astonishing. His skin was pale, his features were perfect, his right nose, his mouth, his bright and mesmerizing golden eyes. I've never seen eyes like these.

I cleaned my throat, then said "Hi". I hoped that the low sound of my voice hided the embarrassment I felt.

"I am Edward Cullen, what's your name?" his voice was smooth and honeyed.

I would have never thought that an old name like Edward could be connected to a breathtaking guy like him. Immediately that name gained a lot of points, it jumped on the top list of my favourite names. I blushed at that thought.

He caressed his bronze hair, waiting for a response from me.

"I'm Bella Swan. Are you new here?" I asked him. He seemed to be pleased of my interest.

"Yes, my family and I have moved from Alaska at the end of the summer. I don't know anybody in this school" he said.

"Don't worry, you'll strike up easily" I smiled at him. I was sure he would have soon a lot of friends. Undoubtedly he would be very appreciated by all the girls of this school. It was impossible that his impudent beauty went unnoticed.

"I don't think so" he replied to me with a strange expression on his face as the teacher went to the blackboard to begin his lesson.

I wasn't as absorbed as I usually was by the lesson. So, after some minutes of indecision, I permitted my self to turn my gaze on him. His arms were crossed on his chest, his eyes fixed on me.

He smiled at me but didn't shift his gaze.

I quickly moved my look on the blackboard. I think that my face reached the deeper shade of purple in 0.005 seconds.

At the end of that hour I understood that I had lost much of the lesson. It was the first time.

"What do you have now?" Edward asked me.

I took my timetable from the bag "English literature, and you?"

I saw him smiling and I soon understood that it had it too. "Me too".

"So come with me" I told him and walked through the hallway to reach our classroom. All the attentions were on him and on me too, because he was walking close to me. I could hear Jessica and Lauren sneering low. Okay, not very low. But I pretended not to have heard them.

"Have you always lived in Forks?" he asked me suddenly.

"Yes" I sighed. I didn't added anything else, the expression on my face was enough exhaustive.

"Why don't you like it?" he asked me seriously. He seemed to be very interested on my answer. He was looking at me with those wonderful eyes. I was going to tell him everything, but I couldn't, I didn't want him to know my real reasons.

"I don't like Forks, that's all"

"Okay" He had understood that this was a theme I didn't like to talk about.

"Why have you moved to Forks?" I was curious.

"Because we were boring in Denali. We lived there for a very long time. So we decided to move, and Forks seemed perfect for us" he explained.

What a strange reason to move. I've never heard of someone who moves for boredom. Then thinking about his words I grimaced. Perfect and Forks in the same statement were for me inconceivable.

He laughed and shook his head. "I saw that for you his incomprehensible. But my parents love so much trekking and places not too crowded. Forks gives them all they want". He shrugged.

"And you? Do you have what you want?" he was nearly a stranger, but I didn't want him to suffer for his parents's choice.

"Yes, almost everything I want" he answered. He looked in my eyes for the briefest of moments, then sat down and waved me to sit on the chair next to him.

I sat down. "Almost?" I didn't forbear from asking him. Damn! This guy was mysterious, and fascinated me too much. I couldn't let myself get too much involved. He hasn't been created for me. This was obvious. He was perfect, an angel, and I was the person who make people suffer, I was a monster.

"Almost" he simply answered caressing his messed up hair.

My eyes followed his hand and stayed fixed there until his face came near mine and I heard him murmuring to my ear "Bella, you should open your book, the teacher is staring at you". I didn't understand what he said, my brain had frozen when I heard my name whispered by his mouth.

"What?" I asked him, still dazed.

"Open your book" he repeated. He was smiling.

I did as I was told.

"Good morning Miss Swan!" the teacher said. I blushed and put down my gaze on the book.

I understood four things during that hour: first, 'almost' is a very cryptic word, second, there should be a law which prohibit awesome guys to use it, third, there should be another law which prohibit these same guys to whisper close to idiot girl's ear, fourth, this night would be very difficult to fall asleep.

"And now PE" he told me enthusiastically.

"Not for me" I replied. I was disappointed that he won't be my schoolmate of my next class. Maybe it was better for me. I needed to reorganize my mind. And I really didn't want to have PE, I hated it with all my strenght.

"Oh, ok. I have two hours of PE. Can I see you at lunch?" he asked me hopefully, but then changed expression and added "If I don't bother you or your friends".

"I am pleased to see you at lunch" I smiled at him and ran towards my next class. I would be more than pleased to have lunch with this wonderful and gentle guy. But I knew that it wouldn't take too long that he moved his interest on someone better than me.

Those two lessons seemed unending to me. When the fourth class ended I saw Alice leaning on the wall near the door of my classroom. She seemed to be excited.

"So?" she asked me and smiled.

"So?" I asked her, I didn't know what she was referring to.

"So, what about that guy?" she asked to me, and crossed her arms on his chest "And don't tell me what guy we both know who I am thinking about" she added satisfied.

"Nothing. He's new here and he introduced himself, he doesn't know anybody. He asked me to have lunch with him" I said. But when I saw Alice jumping on his feet without control, I added "It's only because I'm the only one he knows".

"Oh, Bella, he's so good looking,he would be perfect for you"

"I know he's good looking, and definitely he's too much for me"

"You make me get angry when you say stupid things, Bella" she told me seriously. "And if Jasper was there he'd agreed with me" she added satisfied. This last sentence was the truth, they always agreed in everything. They were striking. Sometimes I used to ask them something in different occasions, when they were far from each other. They always gave me the same answer that gave me the other. They shocked me every time.

"Where is Jasper?" I asked her, as we reached the canteen.

"As always he's gone to the toilet" she rolled her eyes "I can't believe how many times he goes there. I've never known anyone who needs to pee so often. I think he could establish a world record" she shook her head and laughed. I laughed with her. Alice was so genuine and direct, she really didn't like roundabout expressions.

We approached a free table. I looked around and saw Jasper arriving with his and Alice's dishes. He was always very kind to her. I didn't saw Edward Cullen. Maybe he had changed idea, nothing strange I said resigned to myself. I turned my eyes on the table.

"I am sorry Bella I didn't know what you wanted" a boy's voice told me.

I turned to thank Jasper, it wasn't necessary that he brings even my dish. "Don't be stupid Jasper, I don't need your…" the last word get stuck on my lips. It wasn't Jasper, it was Edward. And he was bringing two dishes. "I am sorry, I thought you were Jasper" I tried to explain, but I felt a completely idiot looking at his embarrassed expression.

"Jasper? I met him on the toilet" he said smiling. Alice laughed.

"So you met my boyfriend on his favourite place" she said to Edward.

"He told me you'd say that" he smiled and nodded to Jasper who was sitting.

"I'm Alice, Bella's best friend, and you are?" she asked him while she was helping Jasper with his dishes.

"I am Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you" he said in a very gentle way.

Alice smiled at him and began to eat.

"Do you like lasagnas?" he asked me.

"I simply love it, thank you very much Edward" I told him.

He smiled and passed me one of the two dishes. And if he wanted it? "But if you wanted it I can eat the pizza" I immediately said.

He shook his head and smiled. "I have what I wanted"

"Are you enjoying your first day at Forks High?" Jasper asked him.

"Yes" he simply answered.

"Really?" asked Jasper, he couldn't believe him.

"Yes, everyone is very kind" he explained then coughed and added "I should say almost everyone"

"Why almost?" I asked. This word wanted to make me go crazy. Really.

"I don't think that Mike Newton is going to be one of my friend, I can't stand him. Two hours with him have been enough" he said.

"How right you are!" I smiled at him. He smiled and winked at me.

I must underline it. He winked at me. Definitely tonight I wouldn't sleep. I was happy that for once I would have lost my sleep for thinking about the unattainable guy next to me and not for crying.

"What do you have now?" I asked him.

"An hour of music and then I am free"

"Music? Are you a musician?" That guy was definitely surprising.

"I like playing piano, and I found this great special course here. That's way I was happy to be at Forks high. I am having almost all I wanted".

"Almost?" asked Alice intrigued. She had raised an eyebrow.

"Almost" he repeated, then turned his gaze on me "So you're not coming at music's lesson?"

"No, I can't play any kind of musical instrument" I shook firmly my head. Jasper and Edward laughed together.

Alice looked at her watch and stood up. "We are going to be late Jazz" she took his arm and made him stand up. "Nice to have met you Edward! See you tomorrow Bella" she blinked and went away with Jasper. He rolled his eyes and greeted us with the hand.

Edward was still smiling. I was looking at his breathtaking face, his mouth had a sweet grimace, and his golden eyes were glittering. When I realized that is gaze was on me I did nothing but blushing.

All of a sudden he turned his face and looked behind his shoulder disappointed.

"I don't think I'm going to withstand the stupidity of that two girls for a long time" he whispered frowning.

I looked who he was talking about. Jessica and Lauren.

Definitely he was too perfect for me.

I smiled.

He stood up. "Thank you for having lunch with me. I'm happy to have met you and your friends" he said sincerely.

"Me too" I couldn't say nothing more.

"See you tomorrow" He smiled. A crooked smile. Some girls were looking at him and I could perceive that they were as astonished as I was.

"Uhm, See you" I smiled at him like a stupid.

At science lab I was so excited that I couldn't do experiment the teacher told us to do. But it didn't matter.

This had been a very good day. An excellent and unforeseen day.

At 6 o'clock my mother came back home.

My good day ended at 6 o'clock.

"How's your day at school?" she asked me.

"Good, I really enjoyed it"

"Well" she said.

"I knew a new guy, he has moved here from Alaska" I said enthusiastically.

"I hope you did something better than following that guy all the day" she replied.

Indeed he followed me all the day. I smiled at that thought, then said "No, mum. I spoke with him only during lunch" I assured her.

She frowned sceptically. "Hope you'll do something in your life, Bella. Charlie and I aren't expecting great things from you. We know you perfectly, but hope is the last to die" she said resigned. "Maybe someday you'll amaze us. I have already given up all hope. Your father is still hoping" her voice was ironic.

I didn't say nothing. I closed science's book and went upstairs in my bedroom. I slammed the door.

"Damn Bella! Every time I try to have a serious talk with you, you always go away. You're no more a kid Bella!" she shouted from downstairs.

I was lying on my bed, my arms were crossed on my face, trying to think to something else. I wanted to speak with Emmett, but his phone rang without a response. Maybe he was training very hard. I had to bear his absence, even if it was very difficult. I put on the headphones of my Ipod and listened to my favourite songs. As the minutes passed I found the artificial quiet that I deathly needed.

The volume was at the maximum, so I couldn't hear my father knocking to the door. Probably he had knocked for so long on the door and probably he even called me several times. Otherwise I couldn't explain myself his ferocious expression when he tore away the headphones from my ears. His face was red for rage. "Bella" he called my name like an injury. "Don't you dare to act like this with your mother any more" it was an advertising. An advertising I didn't understand. I just ran away as always, what did I do?

"Your mother is desperate for you. She suffers a lot, and she doesn't deserve it." he made himself clearer. Then he came back, and closed the door, but not before giving me the usual gaze I was accustomed. The gaze which remembered me that I was a monster.

I was trying not to cry when the image of Edward crossed my mind. His brilliant smile and his kindness swept away my sad thoughts.

It was still a good day.

**I don't know if to continue it or not. Do you believe Edward is human or vampire? **


	2. Chapter 2

**HI!!! I wrote this little chapter to explain some things that are going to happen, and also because I would like to know if you want me to upload also the first chapter from Edward's point of view…**

**I'm so very sorry for the late!!! :o( I've been busy with my other history and with the mathematical physics exam… X) **

**Hope you like it!**

**___EPOV_**

_Four years ago_

The weather was going to get worse, those clouds boded no good and even the odour which filled the air told me that it was going to rain. The typical noises of the nature were now quiet, it was the calm before the storm. I was leaning on a truck of a tree among the forest and I was contemplating the landscape in front of me. I loved to be surrounded by the nature, I could appreciate creatures that no one else could ever do, indeed the forest made me feel good with myself, it was an integrant part of my existence, made of routine. In the forest I could make peace with my own nature, obviously not completely, but it gave me the appearance to be a better person than that one that destiny has chosen for me.

I should come home, it was almost six days that I was away, and even though my father Carlisle and my mother Esme knew that they shouldn't worry about me, I knew that my absence made them be uneasy. It has always been like that, it was almost 80 years that most of the times I went hunting alone, but every time they behaved the same way, as I did too. I loved them so much and didn't do that to avoid them, but it was my own nature that made me love the solitude. I was good in isolation, I loved to stay with my only thoughts. It was into the wild, completely alone, that I found myself.

Farther in that period I needed to be alone more than usual. Tanya was keeping on inducing me towards something that, sincerely, I wasn't interested in. She was a loving friend and I was fond of her after all the time I spent together with her, but I had no interest on changing our relationship on something more. She was beautiful undoubtedly, but I hadn't any feeling which could approach to love.

I often felt incomplete and when I confided with her about that feeling, that was a thing that happened very rarely, she always told me that I need a mate. But I was convinced that she said that to obtain what she wanted. I didn't agree with her, I saw the love between Carlisle and Esme, it was an unending devotion, an indescribable liaison, but I didn't think that a partner was what I really needed. In fact I justified that feeling of incompleteness with my own nature and with the choice I had done. A choice that brought great and difficult sacrifices and renunciations.

This was the reason why I was there, in the middle of a forest, and not in a hidden dark park. I was there to respect the treaty I had done with myself, I wouldn't be a monster or at least I wouldn't behave as such.

I wasn't ready to come home yet; so, knowing that not far away from here there was a small village, I decided to set out and reach it.

I was used to stay among people and I didn't dread to do something wrong, moreover the rain that had begun to fall would have helped me.

I walked through the main road and I saw the first houses of that village. I walked until I found a supermarket, his park lot was almost empty.

Sometimes I entered specially on these supermarkets and took a look around. It was really interesting for me to observe humans while they were choosing with care those meals which turned upside down my stomach, but that for them were vital, as vital as it was every breath they did or every heartbeat of their heart. Their life was bound to thin threads, if one of those threads broke, consequences would have been inescapable.

They were such an easy prey to catch. My indescribable strength, speed, and further overdeveloped capabilities were so wrongful. We could never run in a race on equal terms. But I've decided not to take part of the race, I was a silent spectator who hided his innate capabilities, always watching out not to reveal himself. I would have give everything to be simply a true participant, capable to fall down and to lift again with some wounds and mostly, capable to end the race.

I was condemned to watch a race that would never end.

I was practically sodden, if I was human I would have preoccupied for a possible illness, but I wasn't human, I was a monster. A well camouflaged monster, almost impossible to recognize, but still a monster and for that reason, I was the worst of all.

A young girl at the entrance of the shop attracted my attention. She was thirteen or fourteen. She was still in front of a woman who should be her mother, and she was looking at her feet, pliable and docile to her mother's words.

"Isabella, why aren't you like the others? Why do you always do things your own way?" the mother told to her daughter keeping her hands on the waist. The images of the girl in her mind pervaded my mind, even though I didn't want to read her thoughts. '_What did I do wrong to grow a so difficult daughter? Emmett is so much better than her'_ thought the woman. I looked at the girl more carefully, but I didn't find anything on her behaviour or in her expression which told me she was a difficult person, instead I was convinced that that girl was restraining herself. I could understand it by the way she couldn't look at her mother or from her sobbing breathing.

"But mum…" she tried to speak but her mother stopped her with a gaze full of anger.

"I'm fed up of your behaviour, Bella"

"Mum…" Isabella pleaded. I tried to read her mind but nothing came from her, not a single whisper, nor a murmuring, nothing. It was silence. I didn't know why but this girl's mind was a mystery to me.

I didn't know what was, maybe pride, that made the young girl more convinced. Whatever was, she shouted "I can't be like the others! I don't want to behave like the others, I prefer to be myself though no one likes me than to be disingenuous!"

I completely agreed with her, she was right and genuine. Her mother shook her head, she was too focused on ending her talk to understand her daughter's words, so she continued "If you're not changing no one would be your friend, every one will avoid you, I'll avoid you. I really can't stand you". The image of her daughter and a man entered my mind with force, I couldn't avoid it. _'Was it so difficult to smile at our neighbour as I do and everyone else does? He's stupid but he's an important and rich man anyway, and looking at him as if he was a moron is wrong. How could she be so imbecile?' _

The girl clutched her stomach and tears began to fall down her cheeks. Those words were cruel and I couldn't understand why a mother would have talked to her daughter this way, even though the girl hadn't been courteous with someone. It didn't matter what the girl had done or said, those words and mostly those thoughts were like venom. I heard myself growling.

I wanted to go and say something to that unbearable woman, but I had no right to do it. So I simply stayed behind a car and watched the woman entering the shop while the girl named Isabella stood outside, crying, leaning on the wall.

I couldn't bear to see that lovely young girl suffering that way, so I began to walk towards her, I'd said her something, trying to reassure her; but before I reached her, a young boy, who was some years older than her exited the building and called her with a preoccupied and careful voice. He had brown curly hair and a very wiry body for his age. His thoughts were all concerning the girl and were full of preoccupation for her. I knew I was poking my nose into their business, but I wanted to be sure that Isabella had someone who cared for her. What a strange thing, I was caring for this girl as if I knew her.

Isabella didn't answer, she was still crying. The guy removed gently a tress of long brown hair from her face and whispered again. "Bella"

The girl raised her gaze on him and with her hands she wiped away the tears, which were covering her sweet and delicate visage. Her pleading brown eyes were staring at the guy as he was her safety net. "Emmett" she sobbed and then she wrapped her arms around his neck. Emmet embraced her and murmured "Please don't cry". Isabella nodded.

'_I can't stand looking at her crying. If it was someone else's fault I'd wreck him, but it's mum's and I'm such a coward not to do anything_' he thought and shook his head.

"Please Bella, you mustn't listen to what mum says! You must listen to me" he said seriously maintaining his eyes fixed on hers. '_Please Bella_' he mentally prayed her. After some seconds she calmed down and then she even made a grimace, raising her eyebrows.

The boy smiled and nodded his head "Okay, I know this doesn't look like a good advice… but it's true". He blinked.

"Okay" she said with a shy smile.

'_Thank you God_'. Her smile had reassured me and him.

"And then you shouldn't react like this every time, you know that it's worse" he whispered and rolled his eyes. Bella's face darkened.

"But Em, am I so unbearable?" Isabella asked shyly. From the tone of her voice I understood that the opinion of her brother was vital for her.

'_How could she be unbearable? She shouldn't even think that thing_'. I completely agreed with that guy.

"Mmm, no, not so much… I must admit that when you speak about Maths you really prove my resistance toward nerds, but for the rest you're almost perfect!" he said and laughed.

"Perfect?" she asked raising an eyebrow, a nice smile shining on her face.

"But if you say those words to someone I'll kill you Bella!" Emmett grumbled and went away holding an hand to menace her sister. He was embarrassed for what he said.

Isabella followed him inside the supermarket with a smile.

I was pleased that this young girl had a nice brother who cared for her. She was nice and lovely and she deserved it.

The image of her smile convinced me to leave the small town of Forks and come back to Denali.


	3. Chapter 3

_EPOV_

_Present_

I was walking together with Carlisle and Esme towards our new house, we were returning from hunting. For once I had come with them to explore the forest I already knew. Carlisle went towards his Mercedes to reach the hospital of Forks, where he worked. Esme caressed my cheek comprehensive and greeted me with a smile. _Have a nice day _she told me mentally.

"Edward, have a good day at school" Carlisle said smiling, then he kissed Esme -who stayed at home to organize the renovation of a small cottage near our house- and then he went inside his car.

School. I sighed. It was a part of the show, a boring part of the show.

It was about 6 years I didn't come to school, because for the time we lived in Denali I had worked together with Carlisle, so I wasn't so excited to come back to school…

Indeed this school couldn't offer to me something I didn't know, but I was enthusiastic of the fact that I'd had a Music's course, that was something really rare to find in public schools anyway.

I drove my Volvo through the main road, the school wasn't far from the supermarket I saw some years ago.

We had moved to Forks during summer, and now I knew perfectly that small town, its roads, and most of its inhabitants. Obviously I knew them, but they didn't know me yet. Well, after this first day of school they'd had someone to speak about, in fact the murmuring of people when I began school was something I was used to. Nothing original, nothing new, nothing interesting. The same trivial minds I've read for years.

The park lot of the school was empty, most of the students went to school on foot. I reached Math's class aware that most of the guys in the hallway were focused on me. If I hadn't seen all their gazes fixing my face or my clothes, there were their thoughts remembering that to me.

'_Oh my God! Where does he come out of?_'

'_That guy is damned hot_'

'_Uhu…Goodbye Mike!! Finally someone who deserves me has arrived_' thought a girl, who was sitting on a desk near the door.

Okay, I was already annoyed of those boring minds and I wanted to close my mind to their thoughts, when a name caught my attention. '_Bella's arrived… Mmmm, I can't stand her innocent look_'. It was the same girl as before and she had a sour smile on her face. The girl close to her had the same expression and the same vitriolic thought. '_It's useless that she greeted us. She tricked Jessica once and that's sufficient. Someday she'll pay for that_'. That girl's mind looked like that of a viper. But I didn't attend to her, I was too focused on the name I've heard.

So impatient, I turned my gaze on the girl who was quietly attacked by those two girls. Incredibly It was her. The girl I found four years ago in the parking lot of the supermarket. She had grown up, the image I had in my mind was that of a young girl, while now I was admiring a beautiful young woman. Her face was more graceful than I remembered, but her behaviour was still restrained, and as the last time, I didn't hear nothing coming from her mind.

She had waved off the two girls and made a sad smile when she had understood the falseness behind their façades. Then Bella had walked thoughtful through the classroom until she sat down next to me. She was completely absently and his face transpired a sense of displease. I wanted to distract her, and unlike the last time I could be helpful.

"Hi" I greeted her with a sigh.

The girl raised her gaze from the desk she was facing and looked at me with a surprised expression. I grimaced at her trying to get her comfortable with me, I knew that for my nature it was really easy to intimidate humans, so I should control my every action and mostly all my expressions.

She looked at me and sighed. Her scent was hard to avoid, so sweet and inviting, but it was nothing by comparison with the odour of his breath, which was ridiculously attractive and juicy and for a moment it had overwhelmed me. I had to fight with my automatic instinct to attack her, but I managed it and looked at her, having control of my expression to hide the fact that I was ravenous.

I kept looking at Bella, still waiting for her answer.

It took her some seconds before she coughed and low told me "Hi". Her cheeks blushed, and made her even prettier than she already was.

In some way I was excited to speak with her, so I quickly introduced myself. "I am Edward Cullen, what's your name?". The tone I used was smooth even though I hadn't planned it.

"I'm Bella Swan. Are you new here?" She asked me politely. I was pleased that she wanted to know me, even though I knew that she couldn't be as curious as I was at that moment.

"Yes, my family and I have moved from Alaska at the end of the summer. I don't know anybody in this school" I answered trying to be the most sincere I could.

"Don't worry, you'll strike up easily" She told me smiling. The warmth that I felt coming from her body seemed to increase when she smiled.

She was trying to reassure me about friends, she was convinced that I'd easily had new friends but I knew she was wrong. Humans after a first period of attraction used to stay away from me, and I must admit, this helped me to maintain control of myself. "I don't think so" I told her after some seconds. She didn't reply to me, the lesson was going starting.

I spent the whole time observing this little human.

I was amazed by her, I didn't know the reason of my curiosity, the only thing I knew was that I couldn't take my eyes out of her.

She was an unexpected and really nice surprise.

Sometimes during these years my thoughts surprisingly circled around her, but I didn't expect to find her here today. In fact when we have moved here I thought to her, and to the chance to find her at school, but I had the strong belief that she had gone away from Forks, I was convinced that she needed a change. But she was still there, so, probably I was wrong and I had misunderstood the relationship with her mother.

I looked at her face trying unsuccessfully to read her mind, I didn't hear anything, but found the same expression veiled with resignation that I saw four years ago. I hoped that her brother was still there with her.

She seemed to be very interested on the lesson, but sometimes I caught her blushing or closing her eyelids as she wanted to concentrate on something. She was mysterious and her hidden thoughts intrigued me.

After about twenty minutes of lesson I see her taking a deep breath and then, with a quick move, she shifted her gaze on me to find my eyes fixed on her. I instinctively smiled, making her cheeks abruptly became red. She was lovely, especially when she was embarrassed. I felt the strange will to touch her face, to caress the tender skin on her cheeks and feel how much warm it was. I have never had this kind of feeling and mostly no human before had never caught my attentions as she did in that stupid hour, but probably this was because I never let a human approach me.

She was a surprisingly creature and even though I knew that it was a dangerous and wrong desire, I wanted to know her better. For the very first time it was me to approach a human.

"What do you have now?" I asked her when the lesson was over.

She controlled her timetable "English literature, and you?". Yes!

"Me too" I couldn't help but smile.

Bella stood up and waved her hand to show me that I had to follow her. "So come with me" she told me kindly.

I get out the classroom and followed her through the hallway, the comments filled my brain, but I was focused on her. She walked quickly among the crowd but I stayed next to her all the time. She seemed concentrated on avoiding all the gazes, her eyes were fixed on the floor.

The two poisonous girls of Maths were leaning on their locker and when we walked close to them the blonde one spoke, pretending that Bella couldn't hear. "Look Jessica, she's just socialized with the new guy…". The girl smirked at her mate.

"Poor fellow" Jessica smiled to her friend.

"yeah… he shouldn't waist his time with such an idiot" the girl said satisfied.

"He'll soon choose better person" replied Jessica and smiled at me.

Bella kept walking without speaking, maybe she was pretending not to have heard them. I got nearer to Bella, I newly wanted to caress her face and reassured her, telling her that she shouldn't care of them.

My hands were almost trembling for the will to touch her soft skin. _Control yourself Edward!_ I reluctantly kept my hand inside the pocket of my jeans.

Today there was something strange, I didn't act or think as I was used to and if I had been a good person I'd go away to Carlisle, to recover my usual behaviour.

But I wasn't a person and mostly I wasn't a good person. So I asked her "Have you always lived in Forks?"

"Yes" She only muttered, but her eyes told me everything she had passed over in that silence.

"Why don't you like it?"

She stayed thoughtful for a moment before answering. "I don't like Forks, that's all". I wasn't wrong about Forks.

"Okay".

"Why have you moved to Forks?" Her curiosity was obvious but I was pleased of it . I'd wanted to speak with her freely, but I couldn't be sincere with her. I didn't looked into her deep brown eyes, I didn't want to be distracted by her graceful gaze.

"Because we were boring in Denali. We lived there for a very long time. So we decided to move, and Forks seemed perfect for us" I answered to her. This wasn't a lie, I had only skipped some parts of the truth. I couldn't tell her that we were run away from Denali because Rosalie was still a young vampire and she had messed up.

I saw her grimace and looking at me with a surprised expression. Maybe she didn't appreciate the town we had chosen to move to. I found myself laughing.

"I saw that for you his incomprehensible. But my parents love so much trekking and places not too crowded. Forks gives them all they want" I explained her and shrugged, indeed we had all we needed, but I didn't know the reason why when I spoke I didn't include myself.

I was staring at her as we walked through the classroom, but I hadn't perceived my arm raising and getting nearer her. Only when I saw her turning her face on me I noticed my hand close to her face. _What the hell are you doing Edward?_ I quickly moved my hand aside, she didn't notice it.

What would Rosalie has said looking at me doing that?

"And you? Do you have what you want?" She asked me, her voice was serious. I didn't expect this question, mostly I didn't expect her to worry for me.

"Yes, almost everything I want" I answered sincerely, I couldn't say I had everything I wanted, not when I was having two contrasting and strong desires. On the one hand, all my body wanted to assault her and drink every single sample of her sweet blood until she was completely dried up, like the monster I was; on the other hand my hands were craving to touch her cheeks and caress her sweet lips, like I was a simple human guy.

I looked into her delicious eyes for a moment. In less than an hour she could throw me into confusion, I didn't recognize myself.

She was a really interesting and surprisingly creature.

I sat down and waved her to come next to me.

"Almost?"

"Almost" I simply answered and put the hand on my hair -I couldn't keep it motionless. And I controlled it with more difficulty when I became aware that the eyes of Bella followed the path of my hand.

The teacher began to read the incipit of a novel, but he had soon stopped and looked at the class. _Look at them. It's the second hour of their first day of school and half of them is already sleeping. What a great satisfaction… _He looked around and from his perspective I saw that most of the girls was glancing at me but I didn't care of it, instead I cared of the fact that Bella was staring at me. _Swan is completely in Dreamland_. _I should call her attention to the lesson instead of to her new mate. She hasn't opened her book yet._

I approached her, only some inches were dividing us and my body perceived it, in fact my mouth was filled with venom and my voice trembled for the effort to control myself, when I murmured to her " Bella, you should open your book, the teacher is staring at you". Her heartbeat quickened and the breathing became irregular. Had I scared her?

"What?" she asked me, her eyes were gawking me.

"Open your book" I repeated with a soft smile.

Bella blinked and then did as I told her. She didn't seem scared, she seemed absentminded and her silence aroused even more my curiosity.

"Good morning Miss Swan!" the teacher caught our attention, and I saw her cheeks becoming red as she turned her gaze on the book.

I pretended to follow the lecture of the teacher, who was trying to show us the connections between 'The Sorrows of Young Werther', 'The picture of Dorian Gray' and 'The last letters of Jacopo Ortis', but I knew perfectly that argument, so, to amuse myself, in reality I was looking at Bella through the eyes of our mates. For all that hour she seemed completely absentminded, even though she looked at the book for all the time. Wasn't she interested to the lesson? I thought that this argument could be interesting the first time you hear it.

Then I thought that I shouldn't be interested on what she thought about that lesson and everything else, and I concentrated on the teacher's words.

When the bell rang I perceived Bella looking at me and I couldn't help but speak with her to know if she would be my mate even for my next class.

"And now PE" I said with enthusiasm because even though PE was a torture to me, today I felt strange and even felt ready to play any sport in slow motion.

"Not for me" she replied, disappointed and relieved at the same time.

Intriguing.

Well, maybe it was better for Bella and for me not to spend too much time together. I couldn't take the liberty of hoping to be her friend, but I couldn't prevent myself from being curious about her either. I was so selfish as I continued speaking to her. "Oh, ok. I have two hours of PE. Can I see you at lunch?" My voice didn't hide completely my internal conflict. I thought to Rosalie because if she was there she'd killed me with a glance. I kept staring at the girl, whose cheeks were getting hotter and pinker than usual, but her expression was still disappointed.

Edward she's understood you're dangerous, don't you understand her glance? I asked myself. Maybe she was too kind to tell that she wanted to avoid me and wanted nothing to do with me. Yes, this was certainly the truth, so, I supplied her with an excuse to consent her to decline my invitation.

"If I don't bother you or your friends". She could find lots of things as a polite excuse.

I didn't want to use a sad tone of voice, but I couldn't help.

"I am pleased to see you at lunch" she replied to me with a bright smile and then ran away.

Pleased. And she's smiled at me. I couldn't help but smirk.

**I know everything seems easy and enough tranquil... ;)  
****Any suggest is welcome! **


	4. Chapter 4

I was happy to have found a possible friend in Bella, even though I didn't know what I'd do next morning. I sighed and reached the gymnasium followed by the annoying and really not original murmurings of those girls, I tried to avoid them as hard as I could.

_He's so damn hot... I want him all for me... he must hang out with me.._

Boring_._

None of them was really interested on me, on my personality or on my character or anything else, they only thought that I was good-looking and that they should hang out with me to show people how much better they were. What a stupid behavior.

But I couldn't care the less, as I didn't want them, I wasn't interested on those girls. My life was now complete and I didn't need anything else than what I already had. Rosalie had filled the hole I had and didn't know to have.

Indeed I had understood what Tanya meant and I should admit that she was right, I needed someone and that someone was Rose.

I was playing football with my new human mates, but I was practically almost concentrated on Rose, I was thinking to the first time I met her and fall for her.

I was coming home after hunting and found Esme coming from the house with a suffering expression. I didn't wait for her to talk, but read her mind to understand her expression.

_Edward we found a girl in the woods, Carlisle had transformed her._

"What?" I asked astonished.

_We found her in the woods, she had been abused by some humans and abandoned in the middle of nothing, bleeding and almost dead. There was so much blood that I don't know how I could resist it, I think the sight of her fragile body helped me. _ She whispered and shook her head in disgust. _Carlisle brought her to your office and decided together with me and the other to transform her._

I saw the image of a beautiful blonde girl screaming on the bed in Carlisle office, she was in pain and I completely understood her sufferance.

"Oh" what should I say? The semi-life we had was a open work prison, but indeed she didn't deserve to die for the criminal actions of some horrible humans.

_Tanya's gone to find them and denounce them to the police._

I walked behind the house to reach Carlisle's office. There were no more shouts. I could only hear the hammering of her heartbeat and the thoughts of Carlisle and the girl.

As I entered the room Carlisle looked at me in pain.

_I'm so sorry Edward, but I had to do it, I couldn't let her die._

I nodded. "I know"

_And now? Whose is this voice? My sorrow will never end? I can't burn for ever, is this the hell? What did I do to deserve it? I even cannot scream, it doesn't help me._

_Oh my god my heart is hammering so fast... it's going to explode. _

Her heartbeat had accelerated and after some minutes it reached its last beat. There was silence in the room now, everyone stopped breathing and waiting for her reaction, paying attention to her every movement.

Suddenly she opened her eyes and fixed them on mine, everything was in place. She was gorgeous.

I had never seen a creature as beautiful as she was, looking at me with the typical newborn sparkling red eyes, but with something completely different from any other woman -vampire or human- I had ever met. I felt in love with her at first sight and never left her in those two years.

Never, before we decided that it was better for her to reach me at school only tomorrow, so I could help her better, knowing the places where we had to stay and the people we'd met. It was her first time among humans but I'd helped her, I'd did anything. Rosalie was everything to me.

Thinking of Rosalie the two hours passed very quickly even though the vulgar mind of the guy called Mike Newton had caught part of my attention and turned my thoughts on Bella for the whole two hours. He had never stopped looking at me full of hatred and thinking of me the worst things.

_Cullen 's good at sport but if he wants to hang out with Bella I'm going to warn him, I'm not letting him do it. Bella's mine._ He thought as we got out the locker room, I was walking towards the cafeteria, trying to avoid his mental brooding over me and Bella.

_I'm talking to him._

I tried to escape from him and entered the first door I met, the toilet. Unfortunately he entered there and called me.

"Cullen" his voice was resolute.

I sighed and turned towards him with a slow movement. I looked into his eyes until he looked away as I knew he'd done because for humans was practically impossible to keep watching at us if we were watching at them. But I didn't want to scare him, I only wanted him to stop thinking of Bella in a so gross manner. I didn't know why I felt so protective of that little human, the only other person I felt this way was Rosalie even though that feeling for Rosalie was not as intense as it was for Bella. But I understood it, Rosalie was a vampire, she didn't need my help, she didn't really need me.

"Newton, what do you want?" I asked him with the most polite tone I could use.

_You are such a cock_. He thought.

"How's your first day?"

"Mmm, very good, thank you"

"I saw you spoke with Bella" he said and after some seconds added "I hope you're not going to hang out with her"

"I don't think it's your business"

"Yes, it is, Bella's my business" he replied to me and made a step towards me. Someone else entered the toilet but I didn't care, I wasn't going to do or say something out of civil rules.

I looked at him fixedly and make him retracing his steps. "I don't think so and what I'm going to do with her it's her choice, not yours, nor mine".

What did I just tell? The whole period had no sense, indeed he was looking at me astonished.

"You don't deserve Bella" I said with calm.

_Bella?? Who's that guy? _thought the blond guy near the door.

He sniffed and said coldly "And you do?"

"Never" I replied.

Mike coughed, caught off guard by my secure answer.

"Mike, why don't you go out bothering someone else? I know for you it's so difficult not to be a pain, but you should try!" said the guy just entered into the room.

Mike rolled his eyes but stayed still. _Whitlock... _

"I told you to go away Mike. I have to go for a pee, I like your t-shirt and I wouldn't take the wrong aim ".

I smiled and saw Mike Newton going out the toilet, telling us softly to go to hell.

"Thank you" I said to the guy who helped me from arguing with Newton.

"Mike is a cock, and I can't stand him when speaks about Bella" he replied to me from behind one of the door of the toilet.

"Are you a friend of hers?" I asked intrigued.

"Yes, but why do you know her? Aren't you the new guy?"

"I met her at Math, she's been very kind to me"

_Well, what a great news... Bella's always kind to everyone, she's so convinced to be unbearable... _With displeasure I understood that nothing had changed during these four years.

"Yes, she is" he replied to me seriously.

"I'm going to have lunch with her, you'll be there?"

"Obviously, Alice and I always spend lunch with Bella. So, man, let's get out 'Jasper's favourite room' as my girlfriend calls it and reach them" he said and pated me on the back. "Oh, man, I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Jasper Whitlock, and you're?"

"I'm Edward Cullen" I replied to him, Jasper was nice and easygoing, and his words reflected his thoughts.

"Edward, let's go and take the trays for the girls" he said smiling and guided me to the queue of the cafeteria. _He seems to be a good guy._

Yes, I seemed.

He talked with some mates and I left him there. I found the table where Bella was speaking with the girl I had seen in Jasper's mind and I walked through the room to reach them. Bella looked in my direction but a group of girl walked very slowly in front of me, trying to my attention and she didn't see me. Her face was disappointed, her eyes fixed on the table under her, but I didn't know why she seemed so sad.

As I reached the table her friend, who looked like a pixie, stared at me.

_He's so hot... how can Bella say she doesn't deserve him??_ Her eyes were jumping from me to Bella but she didn't speak. Human's perceptions were so wrong, Bella deserved more than a monster, it was me who didn't deserve her. Moreover I didn't want Bella to be disappointed with me, because I couldn't give her more than a dangerous friendship, as she was human and I was fell in love with Rosalie.

Even though her friend had noticed me, Bella hadn't perceived my presence, so I spoke "I am sorry Bella I didn't know what you wanted". And this was the truth, I had taken two different dishes to be sure I'd found something she liked.

She turned her face towards me, but her eyes stayed still on my blouse "Don't be stupid Jasper, I don't need your…" as she looked up at my face she stopped talking and didn't finish her phrase. It was funny to see that she was astound by the fact that I was there in front of her as I had said.

"I am sorry, I thought you were Jasper" she stuttered, trying to explain, but her deeply red cheeks and her quickened heartbeat didn't helped her speaking clearly.

"Jasper? I met him on the toilet" I smiled at her. The girl next to her laughed.

"So you met my boyfriend on his favourite place" she said to me.

"He told me you'd say that" I relied and greeted Jasper who had just reached our table.

"I'm Alice, Bella's best friend, and you are?" she asked me politely.

"I am Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you"

Alice smiled to me and after having kissed Jasper, began to eat her sandwiches.

And if Bella wanted sandwiches? I didn't know what she wanted to eat, I could have been wrong!

"Do you like lasagnas?" I asked finally.

"I simply love it, thank you very much Edward" she answered to me and took the tray with the lasagnas.

"But if you wanted it I can eat the pizza" she rapidly said. She really seemed to be good and considerate. I didn't deserve to put in danger such a good person.

I shook my head to throw away that thought and make a grimace i pretended to be a smile "I have what I wanted" I told her.

"Are you enjoying your first day at Forks High?" Jasper asked me.

"Yes"

"Really?" asked Jasper, he was thinking to Mike Newton and our brief dialogue in the bathroom.

"Yes, everyone is very kind" I answered to him, thinking of Bella, but the image of Newton in Jasper's mind hammered in my brain, and I coughed. "I should say almost everyone"

"Why almost?" Bella asked me preoccupied.

"I don't think that Mike Newton is going to be one of my friend, I can't stand him. Two hours with him have been enough" I explained her and tried to be the most polite I could towards that irritating guy.

"How right you are!" she said and smiled. I was happy to have made her smiling, so I winked at her to underline that we felt the same way towards Mike

"What do you have now?" she asked me.

"An hour of music and then I am free" Yes, finally the so waited course of Music had arrived!

"Music? Are you a musician?"

_He can play? Can he do anything? He's hot, kind, he can play music... maybe he is even a good cooker!! _thought Alice.

"I like playing piano, and I found this great special course here. That's way I was happy to be at Forks high. I am having almost all I wanted".

"Almost?" asked Alice raising an eyebrow. _And he's mysterious... perfect for Bella!!_

"Almost" I replied, then thought to Alice's thoughts, she was really exaggerating things and I didn't want Bella to have those same thoughts, but I didn't know how to do that, so after a moment of silence I said "So you're not coming at music's lesson?"

"No, I can't play any kind of musical instrument" she shook her head with force. Jasper and I laughed together.

All of a sudden Alice decided that we were too many in that table so she drag Jasper away from the table, greeted me and went away to leave Bella and me alone.

I kept smiling but I didn't want Bella to be disappointed, and for the first time in 80 years I didn't know how to behave, because I had never been in that situation, I had never approached a human and never tried to be his friend. I hadn't a good reason to do it and indeed I thought that the reason I had found to talk to Bella was very selfish.

She was there, looking at me with those tender eyes and I didn't say anything. As she perceived my eyes on her she blushed making her face looking even nicer than before.

_What a bitch! What does she think to do with the new guy? _ the mental voice of Lauren had stopped the flux of my thoughts.

_I knew she would have made a pass with him, but she doesn't deserve such a Greek god._ Jessica followed her friend.

I looked back at them, trying to stop their irritating thoughts "I don't think I'm going to withstand the stupidity of that two girls for a long time" I finally said as I understood the curiosity of Bella.

She smiled at me satisfied.

I stood up. "Thank you for having lunch with me. I'm happy to have met you and your friends" I thanked her, I had been sincere, I liked her and her friends.

"Me too"

"See you tomorrow" I greeted her and smiled.

"Uhm, See you" I heard her whispering as I was walking towards Music.

**Hi!!**

**Hope you've enjoyed it!**

**Are you interested on a continuation?**


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